Grief Before the Writing
My mother’s passing put me in a difficult place.
Grief created a need for an outlet, although I did not begin writing immediately. At first, there was only the pain and the effort to understand how life was supposed to continue when someone so important was no longer physically present.
Grief does not always announce what it is doing to us. It can remain beneath the surface, shaping our thoughts, decisions, relationships, and sense of purpose. Other people may see us moving through the day without realizing what we are carrying.
It is funny how we look at people but never truly know what lies beneath the skin.
During that season, I found a church home. That community encouraged me to live a more faith-filled life, with Jesus Christ at the head of it. Faith did not erase my grief, but it gave me somewhere to place it. It reminded me that pain did not have to become the end of my story.
I still did not sit down and begin writing The Kodiak right away. However, something was happening within me. The emotional and spiritual foundation of the story was forming before I knew exactly what it would become.
Looking back, I can see that the writing began long before I opened my laptop.
It began in loss. It continued through questions, prayer, silence, and the effort to keep moving. It grew as I learned that healing does not always mean leaving pain behind. Sometimes healing means allowing pain to become part of something meaningful.
Eventually, those experiences would find their way onto the page.
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